Thursday, July 31, 2008

Status Report

IN THE NEWS: "Forget fast-food waste or kitchen grease: Real aristocrats use wine to make their biofuels. Britain's Prince Charles recently jumped on the biofuels bandwagon, converting his seldom-used 1960 Aston Martin DB6 to a biofuel system that allows him to run his classic convertible on wine rather than gasoline." Read more HERE.

Here's the stats on my writing this week:

Monday 3 pages

Tuesday 5 pages

Wednesday 3 pages (would have been more but fell asleep on the floor watching the news) Ugh.

I am determined to do 5 pages today and meet goal.

PS. Don't forget to check out "Romance Divas Not Going to the Conference" Conference!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Sesame Wasabi Cream Spread

MENTAL STATUS: "Pleased". Making good progress so far on my story. :)

I have a BBQ to go to on Friday and I offered to bring an appetizer. But I want to bring something "new" since I think I've been sticking my roasted red pepper hummus and southwest salsa in every one's faces all summer. I think people have had enough. So...

I've decided to bring a tasty (and simple) dish I'd tried a few months ago at a party. It's a version of what's on the Kikkoman website--with one ingredient added.


1 package (3 oz.) cream cheese
2 tablespoons Kikkoman Soy Sauce
2 to 3 tablespoons Wasabi paste
2 tablespoons sesame seed, toasted
Assorted crackers


Place cream cheese in shallow dish. Cut cream cheese horizontally down the middle. Spread Wasabi paste all over, then place cream cheese top back on. Pour soy sauce over cream cheese; let stand at room temperature about 2 hours, turning over occasionally.
Remove cream cheese from soy sauce and "roll" in sesame seed.
Cover carefully with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator until ready to serve.
Serve with crackers.

I'm telling you, it may not sound like much, but IT IS YUMMY.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Challenge Time!

IN THE NEWS: "Eel drink goes on sale for Japan's hot summer. It's the hottest season of the year in Japan, and that means it's eel season. So, bottom's up!" Read more HERE.

I'm participating in a writing challenge this week with some of my writing friends. My goal is 5 pages a day. Yesterday I wrote 3. (Yeah, I'm not happy about that)

So I'm off to make goal today (and maybe even then some).

Wish me luck.

Monday, July 28, 2008

A Walk on the Wild Side (for exactly 2 minutes)

MENTAL STATUS: "Alert". Got plenty of rest this weekend on the beach.


This weekend at the beach was like Marine Biology 101 for the kids. The water has been unseasonably frigid, so not too many people could go swimming. There was a lot of seaweed and mussel shells washing up on the beach too, which added to the miserable swimming conditions.

BUT... boy, the kids were finding all kinds of cool stuff on the shore. Namely, a few starfish, some jelly fish, a big spider crab, a horseshoe crab, and a small shark. Pretty cool!
Maybe that's why we went out for sushi that night for dinner. Hmmm. Not sure.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you about my walk on the wild side. We had a dinner to go to Sunday at the Yacht Club in town. It's there that I made a small confession to my neighbors. I confessed that I was thinking about getting my nose pierced. WHAT???? (I hope my mom's not reading this) Yes, it's true. Nothing big and loopy, mind you. Just a small diamond chip or something. You know, pretty.

Well, I made the mistake of then asking my friends what they thought about that and if I should do it or not. I got FIVE "no ways", one "yes", and a "do what you want" from my hubby. **sigh** Not good.

I have to admit I was slightly crushed with the outcome. Needless to say, I will not get it done. Oh well. It was just a thought. (A pretty cool thought, though) There. That was my short walk on the wild side until it was snatched away from me and trampled on.

Have you ever wanted to get a tattoo or your nose pierced?

Friday, July 25, 2008

Flashback Friday (part 3)

IN THE NEWS: "A family court judge in New Zealand has had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names here, and did something about it.
Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed." read more
HERE

Well, it's that kind of Friday again. I felt like a flashback. (And I thought these were kinda cool too)

**MTV is in 17.5 million homes and top videos include "Beat It" - Michael Jackson, "Be Good Johnny" - Men at Work, "Sexy 17" - Stray Cats, and "She Works Hard for it" - Donna Summer.

Um, for the record I was one of the underprivileged kids who did not have cable, thus did not have MTV.

**Cabbage Patch dolls with birth certificate and adoption papers are a Hit

Um, I thought (and still think) they were/are ugly.

**Sony Walkman with Dolby: $229

Um, yikes.

**RCA VCR: $399 - $888

Um, I'm sorry. Is anyone else laughing?

**Ray-Ban and Vuarnet sunglasses are in.

**Ad for Moosehead Beer: "Stands head and antlers above the rest"

Eh.

**The shuttle Challenger completes four missions including the first spacewalk since 1972.

**Seat-belt and anti-drunk driver campaigns are accredited with auto accident fatalities dropping to 43,028, the lowest figure in 20 years.

Interesting.

**Coca-Cola and Pepsi com market "No-Caffeine" sodas.

Wow. That wasn't long ago at all.

**Break dancing and the electroboogie are sweeping the country

Unfortunately.

-----------------------------------
Also, on the reviews front, I just received 5 BLUE RIBBONS from Romance Junkies!
Woo-hoo!

"You'll be laughing out loud one minute and then your heart goes out the very next. If you only have time to read one book this summer, THE ROLE OF A LIFETIME is a must read! This is the first story from Ms. Shirk I've read but it certainly won't be the last."

You can go HERE and click on my smiling face to read the whole review. :)

Have a great weekend!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Sunglass Hunt

MENTAL STATUS: "Tired". I have a break today though, so I think I will tally up the scores of the contest I'm judging and submit them in, then do a little food shopping.

I have bad news. Well, awful news really. (For me, anyway.) You see, well, it's summer and...

my sunglasses broke.

Ugh. Not just sunglasses. MY FAVORITE PAIR OF SUNGLASSES. Sunglasses that looked good even when I wore a baseball hat. Sunglasses that had people asking if they were Christian Dior. Sunglasses that even prompted my hubby to say, "Hey, you look like that woman who's married to David Beckham." Yes, those sunglasses. For a little while, I was Spice girl.

I was very depressed. I had to go back to my old sunglasses, which had my hubby making a face. He literally ordered me to go out and get a new pair. But he also wanted me to spend more than $20. Hmm. That's new to me. I always wear cheap sunglasses. It's not in me to buy a pair of Oakleys. But what the heck? If I have the green light, I go.

So I went to the surf shop in town with my mom (because I NEED a second opinion). Apparently, big and bling is in and I have a small face, so I had troubles. Well, because of that, all the sales people got the biggest kick out of putting glasses on my 75 year-old mom instead. She looked good in every pair and I, well, looked like a bug. The guy at the surf shop wanted my mom to try on these gold and red (over the top) glasses. After some begging, she did. Honestly, she looked really good. The guy told her, "Oh man, if I saw you wearing those on the beach, I would give you the biggest high five." He cracked us up.

Anyway, here's my old pair:



And... Ta-da! THE NEW PAIR. (Still big, but not too big)


Check out the cool VZ side.
My hubby just recently bought a pair of Oakleys. He said it was the first nice pair of sunglasses he ever had in his life. My brother on the other hand buys nice new sunglasses every year. I guess it was time for me to splurge. It could have been worse, though. I could have picked out a pair of Pradas.

Are you particular about your sunglasses?

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Crazy Summer

IN THE NEWS: Lynne Rice wanted a six-pack of Budweiser, and no mere car crash was going to stop her from getting it. The 74-year-old crashed her 1988 Cadillac directly into Joe's Food Mart in Norwalk, Calif., on June 29. READ MORE HERE.

Ok. In short, this week is crazy. Hence, the title.

I literally have not been home for any real length of time to get any writing done--let alone clean my poor bath tub and toilets. **sigh** I'm tired.

This past weekend was our town's annual "Night in Venice", which is one of the largest boat parades. My mom and brother came up to watch it and then watched my daughter as the hubby and I went dancing at the Yacht Club. (The band played great 80s music so I was a maniac on the dance floor!)

My mom went home today. She's been helping me oven shop in between going to the beach with us. We also have friends in town on vacation. Not only friends but friends who have a daughter my daughter absolutely loves. So we are "required" to see them almost every day. Today I'll be taking the girls to the pool for the afternoon.

Also this week, we have dinner plans with various people on Thursday, Friday and Sunday. (Jane, stop this crazy thing!) Sorry, a little Jetsons reference. But that's how I feel. I want to chill right now and I'm not able to. Summers tend to get a little hectic for us, but this is ridiculous.

On the writing front, I just found out my book, The Role of a Lifetime, will be going into print. (I wasn't sure about that so that was great news to hear!) It looks like it will be available around March 2009. My hubby was so happy for me, he told me he wants to throw a party. Isn't that sweet?

Anyhew, I hope your summer is more tame and SOMEONE is getting some real writing done. It doesn't look like I'll have a chance until Monday.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Watcher in the Woods by Robert Liparulo



It's July 21st, time for the Teen FIRST blog tour! Every 21st, we will feature an author and his/her latest TEEN fiction book's FIRST chapter!


and his book:



Thomas Nelson (May 6, 2008)




ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Robert Liparulo is an award-winning author of over a thousand published articles and short stories. He is currently a contributing editor for New Man magazine. His work has appeared in Reader's Digest, Travel & Leisure, Modern Bride, Consumers Digest, Chief Executive, and The Arizona Daily Star, among other publications. In addition, he previously worked as a celebrity journalist, interviewing Stephen King, Tom Clancy, Charlton Heston, and others for magazines such as Rocky Road, Preview, and L.A. Weekly. He has sold or optioned three screenplays.

Robert is an avid scuba diver, swimmer, reader, traveler, and a law enforcement and military enthusiast. He lives in Colorado with his wife and four children.

Here are some of his titles:

House of Dark Shadows (Dreamhouse Kings Book 1)

Comes a Horseman

Germ

Deadfall


Product Details

List Price: $14.99
Reading level: Young Adult
Hardcover: 304 pages
Publisher: Thomas Nelson (May 6, 2008)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1595544968
ISBN-13: 978-1595544964


AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:

1

At twelve years old, David King was too young to die. At least he thought so.

But try telling that to the people shooting at him.

He had no idea where he was. When he had stepped through the portal, smoke immediately blinded him. An explosion had thrown rocks and who-knew-what into his face. It shook the floor and knocked him off his feet. Now he was on his hands and knees on a hardwood floor. Glass and splinters dug into his palms. Somewhere, all kinds of guns were firing. Bullets zinged overhead, thunking into walls—bits of flying plaster stung his cheeks.

Okay, so he wasn’t sure the bullets were meant for him. The guns seemed both near and far. But in the end, if he were hit, did it matter whether the shooters meant to get him or he’d had the dumb luck to stumble into the middle of a firefight? He’d be just as dead.

The smoke cleared a bit. Sunlight poured in from a school-bus-sized hole in the ceiling. Not just the ceiling—David could see attic rafters and the jagged and burning edges of the roof. Way above was a blue sky, soft white clouds.

He was in a bedroom. A dresser lay on the floor. In front of him was a bed. He gripped the mattress and pushed himself up.

A wall exploded into a shower of plaster, rocks, and dust. He flew back. Air burst from his lungs, and he crumpled again to the floor. He gulped for breath, but nothing came. The stench of fire—burning wood and rock, something dank and putrid—swirled into his nostrils on the thick, gray smoke. The taste of cement coated his tongue. Finally, oxygen reached his lungs, and he pulled it in with loud gasps, like a swimmer saved from drowning. He coughed out the smoke and dust. He stood, finding his balance, clearing his head, wavering until he reached out to steady himself.

A hole in the floor appeared to be trying to eat the bed. It was listing like a sinking ship, the far corner up in the air, the corner nearest David canted down into the hole. Flames had found the blankets and were spreading fast.

Outside, machine-gun fire erupted.

David jumped.

He stumbled toward an outside wall. It had crumbled, forming a rough V-shaped hole from where the ceiling used to be nearly to the floor. Bent rebar jutted out of the plaster every few feet.

More gunfire, another explosion. The floor shook.

Beyond the walls of the bedroom, the rumble of an engine and a rhythmic, metallic click-click-click-click-click tightened his stomach. He recognized the sound from a dozen war movies: a tank. It was rolling closer, getting louder.

He reached the wall and dropped to his knees. He peered out onto the dirt and cobblestone streets of a small village. Every house and building was at least partially destroyed, ravaged by bombs and bullets. The streets were littered with chunks of wall, roof tiles, even furniture that had spilled out through the ruptured buildings.

David’s eyes fell on an object in the street. His panting breath froze in his throat. He slapped his palm over his mouth, either to stifle a scream or to keep himself from throwing up. It was a body, mutilated almost beyond recognition. It lay on its back, screaming up to heaven. Male or female, adult or child, David didn’t know, and it didn’t matter. That it was human and damaged was enough to crush his heart. His eyes shot away from the sight, only to spot another body. This one was not as broken, but was no less horrible. It was a young woman. She was lying on her stomach, head turned with an expression of surprised disbelief and pointing her lifeless eyes directly at David.

He spun around and sat on the floor. He pushed his knuckles into each eye socket, squeegeeing out the wetness. He swallowed, willing his nausea to pass.

His older brother, Xander, said that he had puked when he first saw a dead body. That had been only two days ago—in the Colosseum. David didn’t know where the portal he had stepped through had taken him. Certainly not to a gladiator fight in Rome.

He squinted toward the other side of the room, toward the shadowy corner where he had stepped into . . . wherever this was . . . whenever it was. Nothing there now. No portal. No passage home. Just a wall.

He heard rifle shots and a scream.

Click-click-click-click-click . . . the tank was still approaching.

What had he done? He thought he could be a hero, and now he was about to get shot or blown up or . . . something that amounted to the same thing: Dead.

Dad had been right. They weren’t ready. They should have made a plan.

Click-click-click-click-click.

David rose into a crouch and turned toward the crumbled wall.

I’m here now, he thought. I gotta know what I’m dealing with, right? Okay then. I can do this.

He popped up from his hiding place to look out onto the street. Down the road to his right, the tank was coming into town over a bridge. Bullets sparked against its steel skin. Soldiers huddled behind it, keeping close as it moved forward. In turn, they would scurry out to the side, fire a rifle or machine gun, and step back quickly. Their targets were to David’s left, which meant he was smack between them.

Figures.

At that moment, he’d have given anything to redo the past hour. He closed his eyes. Had it really only been an hour? An hour to go from his front porch to here?

In this house, stranger things had happened. . . .

Friday, July 18, 2008

Survived!

MENTAL STATUS: "Exhausted". I worked really hard this week for my church's Vacation Bible School, but I'm happy with how it all turned out.


Well... since I'm writing this post it can only lead me to believe that I somehow survived teaching Bible school to a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds.
Believe me, it wasn't easy. I felt like playing that Gloria Gaynor song, "I will survive" all week as I drove to church. (just half kidding. They were pretty good kids)


My hats off to everyone who worked at our church for all the kids (we had pre-K up to sixth grade). If I worked hard this week, it was only because I saw everyone else giving 110% of their time and energy to serve.


It was fun, but now I must finish judging a writing contest and finish my own manuscript, because I've neglected them for far too long.


So...

what happened with you while I was gone all week?

Monday, July 14, 2008

Time off For Very Good Behavior

IN THE NEWS: "Chatty burglar overstays welcome, gets arrested." Read HERE.

Busy busy busy right now--and not with writing. (Wah)

So, I'm taking a few well deserved days off.

See ya in a bit. :)

Friday, July 11, 2008

Flashback Friday!

MENTAL STATUS: "Anxious". Trying to figure out my lesson plan for Vacation Bible School at my church. It starts Monday and I will be teaching the Kindergarten class. Eeep.


My cough is much better. I think I may have passed the breaking point of whether I was going to call the doctor or not. So I won't now. Yay!

Since I'm feelin' better and my blue toenails are making me feel "peppy", I thought we'd go back to the 80s again today. (I know you really want to)


Here are some lyrics to songs from the 1980s. See if you can guess the song and artist.
(HINT: answers are at the very end of the post)


1) Used to be a time when you would pamper me
Used to brag about it all the time
Your friends seem to think that you're so peachy keen
But my friends say neglect is on your mind
Who's right?



2) I play along with the charade,
there doesn't seem to bea reason to change
You know, I feel so dirty
when they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her,but the point is probably moot



3)Down in the street there is violence
And a lots of work to be done
No place to hang out our washing
And I can't blame all on the sun, oh no



4) "You gone too far this time"
But I'm dancing on the valentine
I tell you somebody's fooling around
With my chances on the danger line
I'll cross that bridge when I find it
Another day to make my stand
High time is no time for deciding
If I should find a helping hand



5)Desert loving in your eyes all the way
If I listened to your lies would you say
I'm a man without conviction
I'm a man who doesn't know
How to sell a contradiction




Answers:
1) Janet Jackson "What have you done for me lately?"
2) Rick Springfield "Jessie's Girl"
3) Eddy Grant "Electric Avenue"
4) Duran Duran "Reflex"
5) Culture Club "Karma Chameleon"

Did you guess correctly?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tip Top Toes

IN THE NEWS: "Ore. man completes flight of fancy - in lawn chair." Read more HERE.


The wine worked! (With a couple of teaspoons of children's Benadryl)
**note: do not attempt to mix wine and Benadryl at home. Jennifer is a trained pharmacist but also has not worked as one in many many years.

Ok, don't get excited. I didn't have an awesome night's sleep, but I do feel a lot less grouchy, which is good news for the many around me.

I was so tired all yesterday. I couldn't read, I couldn't write, and because I was still coughing I couldn't nap. Ick. So I did what any other sleep deprived woman in America would do.

I painted my toenails blue. **shrugs**

Actually, Sally Hansen calls it "Flash", but for all intents and purposes we'll call it plain blue.

I don't know about you, but I tend to gravitate toward the flashier colors for my toes, especially in the summer. Why? I don't know. Toes are so... well, not attractive. Why would I want to draw unnecessary attention to them? Hmm... I'm not sure. To make them seem prettier than they are?

Funny, but I rarely paint my fingernails. I wear gloves when I do the dishes and they still only last a day if I get them done. And on the off chance I break down and paint them, I usually do a French Manicure or natural color. I assure you I would never have them blue or any color I would typically pick for my toes. Again, I'm not sure why.

A few weeks ago I had my toes painted BRIGHT orange. Hey, don't knock it! It looked killer with my tan. But I did have someone laugh and ask me if my daughter painted my nails. To save face, I lied. ( a teeny lie, but still) Little did the person how happy I get when I see such bright pretty colors on my feet.

And here they are:

For the record, I did NOT plan to match my shoes with my toenails. It just sort of worked out that way.
What's the funkiest nail color you ever used? Have you ever color coordinated your nail polish with your shoes or outfit?

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Desperate Times Call for Desperate Wines

MENTAL STATUS: "Grouchy". Yeah, I know my post is extra early. But I had the WORST night sleep last night. Coughed and hacked all night and woke up with a headache.
Somebody--please-- shoot me now.

I'm living on very little sleep--as you can tell from above. Cough medicine is not working--plus I hate to suppress it since it is a productive cough after all. I've even tried taking Benadryl to knock me out so I can sleep. No dice either.

Now I must resort to nature's cure all: WINE. (I'm hoping after a few glasses, I'll be able to get some sleep at the very least)

Unfortunately, I'm a bit of a wine snob. Yes, I know now is not the time to be picky, but there you have it. (Remember I'm extra grouchy too)

White wine does not make me sleepy. **shrugs** I do not like Merlot. (Bleh) I do like Pinot Noir but since the movie Sideways, I'm a little ticked that its price has skyrocketed. I'm having a hard time finding a big juicy Red Zin in my parts. All this has now led to me Cabernet Sauvignon. I'm VERY picky with Cabs. If you get a cheap one or rather a not well made one... well, the term "shoe leather flavor" comes to mind.

Luckily, the hubby has found a cheap and good Cabernet Sauvignon for me. Five Rivers. It goes for about $10 a bottle, but man, it's very tasty. Wow, it's going down very easy. And you gotta love the price.

I'm hoping a few glasses tonight will put me out so I can get some much needed rest. Otherwise, the poor contest entries I'm judging right now will suffer greatly at my tired wrath.

(Just half kidding) :)

This and That

IN THE NEWS: "Better dead than Dobrescu? That's what villagers in a remote Romanian town have said." Read HERE how a dead guy got more votes than his opponent.

DISCLAIMER:
This is the part of the blog where I ramble on about what's going on in my life.

1) I can't stop coughing. Allergies, cold, whatever. It's annoying.

2) I'm judging my RWA chapter contest now, so if any of my crit partners are reading this, don't expect a critique from any time soon.

3) My Verizon e-mail is acting all weird on me. I went to add some e-mail addresses and it says "yep. all's good", but then they're not there.

4) I'm up at Judge a Book by its Cover --come on over and see

5) I'm looking for a new oven--not that there's really anything wrong with the one I have now, but the microwave above it has not worked in six years and I was told I cannot replace just the microwave part. I guess six is my number, because it's taken me that long to finally snap.

That's it.

What's going on with you?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Happy Belated Fourth!

MENTAL STATUS: "Off". I'm feeling better, but have developed other symptoms--cough, watery eyes, headaches, mental fuzziness. I'm beginning to think it's allergies. Ugh.

Well, Happy Belated Fourth of July to all of you in the U.S. We kicked off the long weekend with a BBQ with two other couples and their kids, then we hosted a family BBQ on Friday then headed down to the beach to watch the fireworks. The weather this weekend looked iffy but we managed to spend all four days at the beach--where I mostly slept because I felt so blah. But it still felt good to be there.

While I was there, I read a Focus on the Family magazine and saw some neat trivia on fireworks that I thought I'd share with you even though the holiday is past.

Fireworks Trivia:

* static electricity in synthetic clothing can ignite fireworks. Those who make fireworks wear cotton from head to toe.

* professional fireworks shows have grown shorter in recent years. Three decades ago, the average show lasted over an hour; today's shows last about 20 minutes

* in 1996, a lighted string of firecrackers lasted 22 hours to celebrate the Chinese New Year in Hong Kong.

* The amount of fireworks used in the U.S. has increased 2.5 times since 1992.

source: fireworks.com

Fascinating, huh? And now you know. :)

How was your Fourth of July holiday?

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Back to the 80's (1981)

IN THE NEWS: "A German man doused his BMW with gasoline and torched it on Friday in protest at skyrocketing fuel costs, police said." Read more HERE


I am feeling better today, so I guess I don't have meningitis. (Thanks for all the hugs and well wishes)

Anyhew...

I'm an avid watcher of FOX Cable News every morning. Oh, and afternoon. Well, I watch it at night, too. Oh, heck, it's on practically 24/7 in my house. But anyway, they've been doing a "back to the 80's" theme this week--which has been cracking me up to say the least.


The eighties are by far my favorite decade. But I think anyone in their 30's (and 40's?) pretty much attest to this same feeling. (I don't think we know any better.) But gee, remember such groups as The Smithereens? Duran Duran? Culture Club? And one of my personal favs then... The Go-Go's? I hate men with long hair but I did sport a small crush on Jon Bonjovi then too. (He wore it well)


I experienced my very first concert in 1981: Olivia Newton John-The Physical Tour. My dad took me. (He was a big fan too) In the eighties, I wore hair bow/bands and bracelets like Madonna, thought the Duran Duran Wild Boys video was THE COOLEST VIDEO EVER MADE, and sported such a bad perm and highlight that to this day I still hold a grudge against my mom for letting me walk around looking like a giant orange poodle.


I remember in fifth grade my teacher was reading Cujo by Steven King. It sat on her desk and whenever we had free time or worked by ourselves at our desks, she'd pick it up and start reading. Finally, (having enough of her ignoring us) we begged her to read some of it to us. She did (although she cleaned some parts up). We all LOVED it. Can you imagine her reading to a bunch of ten and eleven year-olds and totally keeping our attention the whole time? I'll always remember that, since that was the first time I ever heard of Steven King.


Some of the top money making films in 1981 were Raiders of the Lost Ark, On Golden Pond, Porky's, Arthur, and Stripes. (Only, I was too young to see any of those movies) I do remember having a field trip to see Gandhi, though. So I had that going for me. (A tiny teeny bit of sarcasm there)


Are you an eighties fan? What do you remember from 1981?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Blah Blah Blues 2

MENTAL STATUS: "Bleh". I am currently hosting a variety of ailments that would stink under normal circumstances but especially stink because of the upcoming Fourth of July and it just being summertime.

Well, as you can see from the above post, I'm sick. Sore throat, neck aches, tired. Is that meningitis? I'm worried it might be. I think I'll cruise on over to WebMD and relieve my anxious mind after this.But I went to pool yesterday and even spent over fours at a BBQ, so I must not be on death's door.

Yet.

The good news is I finished the rewrite of my synopsis and got it down to a whopping 3 1/4 pages. Now I can officially lay that puppy to rest. (Which is exactly what I plan to do today too) After I go food shopping, of course.

Have a good one.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

A MIle in My Flip-Flops by Melody Carlson



It is July FIRST, time for the FIRST Blog Tour! (Join our alliance! Click the button!) The FIRST day of every month we will feature an author and her latest book's FIRST chapter!
**I'm really looking forward to reading this one!





The feature author is:





and her book:

A Mile in My Flip-Flops

WaterBrook Press (June 17, 2008)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

In sixth grade, Melody Carlson helped start a school newspaper called The BuccaNews (her school’s mascot was a Buccaneer...arrr!). As editor of this paper, she wrote most of the material herself, creating goofy phony bylines to hide the fact that the school newspaper was mostly a "one man" show.

Visit Melody's website to see all of her wonderful and various book titles.

Don't miss her latest teen fiction, Stealing Bradford (Carter House Girls, Book 2).


Product Details:

List Price: $13.99

Paperback: 336 pages

Publisher: WaterBrook Press (June 17, 2008)

Language: English

ISBN-10: 1400073146

ISBN-13: 978-1400073146

AND NOW...THE FIRST CHAPTER:



I’m not the kind of girl who wants anyone to feel sorry for her.

So after my fiancé jilted me less than four weeks before our wedding date, and since the invitations had already been sent, my only recourse was to lie low and wait for everyone to simply forget.

Consequently, I became a recluse. If I wasn’t at work, teaching a delightful class of five-year-olds, who couldn’t care less about my shattered love life, I could be found holed up in my apartment, escaping all unnecessary interaction with “sympathetic” friends.

And that is how I became addicted to HGTV and ice cream. Okay, that probably calls for some explanation. HGTV stands for Home and Garden TV, a network that runs 24/7 and is what I consider the highest form of comfort TV. It is habit forming, albeit slightly mind numbing. And ice cream obviously needs no explanation.

Other than the fact that my dad, bless his heart, had seven quart-sized cartons of Ben & Jerry’s delivered to my apartment the day after Collin dumped me. Appropriately enough, dear old Dad (who knows me better than anyone on the planet) selected a flavor called Chocolate Therapy, a product worthy of its name and just as addictive as HGTV.

But now, eighteen months and twenty-two pounds later, I seem to be in a rut. And apparently I’m not the only one who thinks so.

“Come on, Gretchen,” urges my best friend, Holly, from her end of the phone line. “Just come with us–please!”

“Right…,” I mutter as I lick my spoon and dip it back into a freshly opened carton of Chunky Monkey–also appropriately named, but let’s not go there. Anyway, not only had I moved on to new ice cream flavors, but I also had given up using bowls. “Like I want to tag along with the newlyweds. Thanks, but no thanks.”

“Like I keep telling you, we’re not newlyweds anymore,” she insists. “We’ve been married three months now.”

“Yeah…well…”

“And it’s Cinco de Mayo,” she persists, using that little girl voice that I first heard when we became best friends back in third grade. “We always go together.”

I consider this. I want to point out that Holly and I used to always go to the Cinco de Mayo celebration together–as in past tense. And despite her pity for me, or perhaps it’s just some sort of misplaced guilt because she’s married and I am not, I think the days of hanging with my best friend are pretty much over now. The image of Holly and Justin, both good looking enough to be models, strolling around holding hands with frumpy, dumpy me tagging along behind them like their poor, single, reject friend just doesn’t work for me.

“Thanks anyway,” I tell her. “But I’m kind of busy today.”

“So what are you doing then?” I hear the challenge in her voice, like she thinks I don’t have anything to do on a Saturday.

I slump back into the sofa and look over to the muted TV, which is tuned, of course, to HGTV, where my favorite show, House Flippers, is about to begin, and I don’t want to miss a minute of it. “I’m, uh…I’ve got lesson plans to do,” I say quickly. This is actually true, although I don’t usually do them until Sunday evening.

She snickers. “Yeah, that’s a good one, Gretch. I’ll bet you’re vegging out in front of HGTV with a carton of Chocolate Fudge Brownie.”

“Wrong.” Okay, Holly is only partially wrong. Fortunately, I haven’t told her about my latest flavor.

“Come on,” she tries again. “It’ll be fun. You can bring Riley along. He’d probably like to stretch his legs.”

I glance over to where my usually hyper, chocolate Lab mixed breed is snoozing on his LL Bean doggy bed with a chewed-up and slightly soggy Cole Haan loafer tucked under his muzzle. “Riley’s napping,” I say. “He doesn’t want to be disturbed.”

“Like he wouldn’t want to go out and get some fresh air and sunshine?”

“We already had our walk today."

Holly laughs. “You mean that little shuffle you do over to the itty bitty park across the street from your apartment complex? What’s that take? Like seven and a half minutes for the whole round trip? That’s not enough exercise for a growing dog like Riley.”

“I threw a ball for him to chase.”

“So there’s nothing I can do or say to change your mind?” House Flippers is just starting. “Nope,” I say, trying to end this conversation. “But thanks for thinking of me.”

“Want me to bring you back an empanada?”

“Sure,” I say quickly. “You guys have fun!” Then I hang up and, taking the TV off mute, I lean back into the soft chenille sofa and lose myself while watching a hapless couple from Florida renovate a seriously run-down split-level into something they hope to sell for a profit. Unfortunately, neither of them is terribly clever when it comes to remodeling basics. And their taste in interior design is sadly lacking too. The woman’s favorite color is rose, which she uses liberally throughout the house, and she actually thinks that buyers will appreciate the dated brown tiles and bathroom fixtures in the powder room. By the time the show ends, not only is the house still on the market despite the reduced price and open house, but the couple’s marriage seems to be in real trouble as well.

“Too bad,” I say out loud as I mute the TV for commercials. Riley’s head jerks up, and he looks at me with expectant eyes.

“You just keep being a good boy,” I tell him in a soothing tone. Hopefully, he’ll stretch out this midday nap a bit longer. Because once Riley starts moving, my tiny apartment seems to shrink, first by inches and then by feet.

My hope for an elongated nap crumbles when his tail begins to beat rhythmically on the floor, almost like a warning–thump, thump, thump–and the next thing I know, he’s up and prowling around the cluttered living room. Riley isn’t even full grown yet, and he’s already way too much dog for my apartment. Holly warned me that his breed needed room to romp and play. She tried to talk me into a little dog, like a Yorkie or Chihuahua, but I had fallen for those liquid amber eyes…and did I mention that he’s part chocolate Lab? Since when have I been able to resist chocolate? Besides, he reminded me of a cuddly brown teddy bear. But I hardly considered the fact that he would get bigger.

After he climbed into my lap that day, licking my face and smelling of puppy breath and other things that I knew could be shampooed away, there was no way I could leave him behind at the Humane Society. I already knew that he’d been rejected as a Christmas present. Some dimwitted father had gotten him for toddler twins without consulting Mommy first. Even so, Holly tried to convince me that a good-looking puppy like that would quickly find another home.

But it was too late. I knew Riley was meant for me, and that was that. And I had grandiose ideas of taking him for long walks on the beach. “He’ll help me get in shape,” I assured Holly. She’d long since given up on me going to the fitness club with her, so I think she bought into the whole exercise theory. She also bought Riley his LL Bean deluxe doggy bed, which I could barely wedge into my already crowded apartment and now takes up most of the dining area, even though it’s partially tucked beneath a gorgeous craftsman-style Ethan Allen dining room set. Although it’s hard to tell that it’s gorgeous since it’s pushed up against a wall and covered with boxes of Pottery Barn kitchen items that won’t fit into my limited cabinet space.

“This place is way too small for us,” I say to Riley as I shove the half-full ice cream carton back into the freezer. As if to confirm this, his wagging tail whacks an oversized dried arrangement in a large bronze vase, sending seedpods, leaves, and twigs flying across the carpet and adding to the general atmosphere of chaos and confusion.

My decorating style? Contemporary clutter with a little eclectic disorder thrown in for special effect. Although, to be fair, that’s not the real me. I’m sure the real me could make a real place look like a million bucks. That is, if I had a real place…or a million bucks.

I let out a long sigh as I stand amid my clutter and survey my crowded apartment. It’s been like this for almost two years now.

Overly filled with all the stuff I purchased shortly after Collin proposed to me more than two years ago. Using my meager teacher’s salary and skimpy savings, I started planning the interior dĂ©cor for our new home. I couldn’t wait to put it all together after the wedding.

“Have you ever heard of wedding presents?” Holly asked me when she first realized what I was doing.

“Of course,” I assured her. “But I can’t expect the guests to provide everything for our home. I figured I might as well get started myself. Look at this great set of espresso cups that I got at Crate & Barrel last weekend for thirty percent off.”

“Well, at least you have good taste,” she admitted as she stooped to admire a hand-tied wool area rug I’d just gotten on sale. Of course, she gasped when she saw the price tag still on it. “Expensive taste too!”

“It’ll last a lifetime,” I assured her, just like the Karastan salesman had assured me. Of course, as it turned out, my entire relationship with Collin didn’t even last two years. Now I’m stuck with a rug that’s too big to fit in this crummy little one-bedroom apartment–the same apartment I’d given Mr. Yamamoto notice on two months before my wedding. It was so humiliating to have to beg to keep it after the wedding was cancelled, but I didn’t know what else to do.

And now, a year and a half later, I’m still here. Stuck. It’s like everyone else has moved on with their lives except me. It wouldn’t be so bad if I had enough room to make myself at home or enough room for Riley to wag his tail without causing mass destruction…or enough room to simply breathe. Maybe I should rent a storage unit for all this stuff. Or maybe I should move myself into a storage unit since it would probably be bigger than this apartment.

As I pick up Riley’s newest mess, I decide the bottom line is that I need to make a decision. Get rid of some things–whether by storage, a yard sale, or charity–or else get more space. I vote for more space. Not that I can afford more space. I’m already strapped as it is.

Kindergarten teachers don’t make a whole lot. I feel like I’ve created a prison for myself. What used to be a convenient hideout now feels like a trap, and these thin walls seem to be closing in on me daily. Feeling hopeless, I flop back onto the couch and ponder my limited options. Then I consider forgetting the whole thing and escaping back into HGTV, which might call for some more ice cream.

But that’s when I look down and notice my thighs spreading out like two very large slabs of ham. Very pale ham, I might add as I tug at my snug shorts to help cover what I don’t want to see, but it’s not working. I stare at my flabby legs in horror. When did this happen?

I stand up now, trying to erase that frightening image of enormous, white thunder thighs. I pace around my apartment a bit before I finally go and stand in front of an oversized mirror that’s leaning against the wall near the front door. This is a beautiful mirror I got half price at World Market, but it belongs in a large home, possibly over a fireplace or in a lovely foyer. And it will probably be broken by Riley’s antics if it remains against this wall much longer.

But instead of admiring the heavy bronze frame of the mirror like I usually do, I actually look into the mirror and am slightly stunned at what I see. Who is that frumpy girl? And who let her into my apartment? I actually used to think I was sort of good looking. Not a babe, mind you, but okay. Today I see a faded girl with disappointed eyes.

Some people, probably encouraged by Holly, a long-legged dazzling brunette, used to say I resembled Nicole Kidman. Although they probably were thinking of when Nicole was heavier and I was lighter. Now it’s a pretty big stretch to see any similarities. To add insult to injury, Nicole has already hit the big “four o,” whereas I am only thirty-two. Her forties might be yesterday’s twenties, but my thirties look more like someone else’s fifties. And I used to take better care of myself. Okay, I was never thin, but I did eat right and got exercise from jogging and rollerblading. Compared to now, I was in great shape. And my long strawberry blond hair, which I thought was my best asset, was usually wavy and fresh looking, although you wouldn’t know that now. It’s unwashed and pulled tightly into a shabby-looking ponytail, which accentuates my pudgy face and pale skin. Even my freckles have faded. It doesn’t help matters that my worn T-shirt (with a peeling logo that proclaims “My Teacher Gets an A+”) is saggy and baggy, and my Old Navy khaki shorts, as I’ve just observed, are too tight, and my rubber flip-flops look like they belong on a homeless person–although I could easily be mistaken for one if I was pushing a shopping cart down the street.

Then, in the midst of this pathetic personal inventory, my focus shifts to all the junk that’s piled behind me–the boxes, the myriad of stuff lining the short, narrow hallway and even spilling into the open door of my tiny bedroom, which can barely contain the queensize bed and bronze bedframe still in the packing box behind it. If it wasn’t so depressing, it would almost be funny. I just shake my head. And then I notice Riley standing strangely still behind me and looking almost as confused as I feel. With his head slightly cocked to one side, he watches me curiously, as if he, too, is afraid to move. This is nuts. Totally certifiable. A girl, or even a dog, could seriously lose it living like this. Or maybe I already have. They say you’re always the last to know that you’ve lost your marbles.

“It’s time for a change,” I announce to Riley. He wags his tail happily now, as if he wholeheartedly agrees. Or maybe he simply thinks I’m offering to take him on a nice, long walk. “We need a real house,” I continue, gathering steam now. “And we need a real yard for you to run and play in.” Of course, this only excites him more.

And that’s when he begins to run about the apartment like a possessed thing, bumping into boxes and furnishings until I finally open the sliding door and send him out to the tiny deck to calm himself.

After he settles down, I go and join him. It’s pretty hot out here, and I notice that the seedling sunflower plants, ones we’d started in the classroom and I’d brought home to nurture along, are now hanging limp and lifeless, tortured by the hot afternoon sun that bakes this little patio. Just one more thing I hate about this place.

So much for my attempt at terrace gardening. I’d seen a show on HGTV that inspired me to turn this little square of cement deck into a real oasis. But in reality it’s simply a barren desert that will only get worse as the summer gets hotter. I feel like I’m on the verge of tears now. It’s hopeless.

This is all wrong. On so many levels. This is not where I was supposed to be at this stage of the game. This is not the life I had planned. I feel like I’ve been robbed or tricked or like someone ripped the rug out from under me. And sometimes in moments like this, I even resent God and question my faith in him. I wonder why he allows things like this to happen. Why does he let innocent people get hurt by the selfishness of others? It just doesn’t make sense. And it’s not fair.

Oh, I’ve tried to convince myself I’m over the fact that my ex fiancĂ©, Collin Fairfield, was a total jerk. And I try not to blame him for being swept away when his high school sweetheart decided, after fifteen years of being apart, that she was truly in love with him. I heard that the revelation came to Selena at the same time she received our engraved wedding invitation, which I did not send to her. She wasn’t even on my list.

And I actually believe that I’ve mostly forgiven Collin…and that sneaky Selena too. And I wish them well, although I didn’t attend their wedding last fall. A girl has to draw the line somewhere.

But all that aside, this is still so wrong. I do not belong in this stuffy little apartment that’s cluttered with my pretty household goods. I belong in a real house. A house with a white picket fence and a lawn and fruit trees in the backyard. And being single shouldn’t mean that I don’t get to have that. There must be some way I can afford a home.

Of course, I’m fully aware that real estate isn’t cheap in El Ocaso. It’s on the news regularly. Our town’s prices certainly aren’t as outrageous as some of the suburbs around San Diego, but they’re not exactly affordable on a teacher’s salary. I try not to remember how much I had in my savings account back before I got engaged and got carried away with spending on my wedding and my home. That pretty much depleted what might’ve gone toward a small down payment on what probably would’ve been a very small house. But, hey, even a small house would be better than this prison-cell apartment.

And that’s when it hits me. And it’s so totally obvious I can’t believe I didn’t think of it sooner. I will become a house flipper! Just like the people on my favorite HGTV show, I will figure out a way to secure a short-term loan, purchase a fixer-upper house, and do the repairs and decorating myself–with my dad’s expert help, of course!

And then, maybe as early as midsummer, I will sell this beautifully renovated house for enough profit to make a good-sized down payment on another house just for me…and Riley. Even if the secondhouse is a fixer-upper too, I can take my time with it, making it just the way I want it. And it’ll be so much better than where I live now.

I’m surprised I didn’t come up with this idea months ago. It’s so totally simple. Totally perfect. And totally me!

“We are going house hunting,” I announce to Riley as I shove open the sliding door and march back inside the apartment. His whole body is wagging with doggy joy as I quickly exchange my too-tight shorts for jeans and then reach for his leather leash and my Dolce & Gabbana knockoff bag–the one I bought to carry on my honeymoon, the honeymoon that never was. I avoid looking at my image in the big mirror as we make a hasty exit.

“Come on, boy,” I say as I hook the leash to his collar at the top of the stairs. “This is going to be fun!” And since this outing is in the spirit of fun, I even put down the top on my VW Bug, something I haven’t done in ages. Riley looks like he’s died and gone to doggy heaven as he rides joyfully in the backseat, his ears flapping in the breeze. Who knows, maybe we’ll find a house for sale on the beach.

Okay, it’d have to be a run-down, ramshackle sort of place that no one but me can see the hidden value in, but it could happen. And while I renovate my soon-to-be wonder house, Riley can be king of the beach. The possibilities seem limitless. And when I stop at the grocery store to pick up real-estate papers, I am impressed with how many listings there are. But I can’t read and drive, so I decide to focus on driving. And since I know this town like the back of my hand, this should be easy.

But thanks to the Cinco de Mayo celebration, the downtown area is crowded, so I start my search on the south end of town, trying to avoid traffic jams. I’m aware that this area is a little pricey for me, but you never know. First, I pull over into a parking lot and read the fliers. I read about several houses for sale, but the prices are staggering.

Even more than I imagined. Also, based on the descriptions and photos, these houses already seem to be in great shape. No fixer-uppers here. Then I notice some condo units for sale, and I can imagine finding a run-down unit in need of a little TLC, but it’s the same situation. According to the fliers, they’re in tiptop, turnkey shape–recently remodeled with granite counters and cherry hardwood floors and new carpeting and prices so high I can’t imagine doing anything that could push them a penny higher. My profit margin and spirits are steadily sinking. Maybe my idea to flip a house has already flopped. Just like the rest of my life.


Excerpted from A Mile in My Flip-Flops by Melody Carlson Copyright © 2008 by Melody Carlson. Excerpted by permission of WaterBrook Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.